Showing posts with label Child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Child. Show all posts

Saturday, December 10, 2011

10 Tips for Raising Children of Character - How to Bring Up a Child?

!±8± 10 Tips for Raising Children of Character - How to Bring Up a Child?

How to bring up in your child an independent, self-motivated and simply complete person of marked individuality? Raising a child is a continuous and rather difficult task. Having two sons of 4 and 6 years old and a daughter of 10 years old, I regularly search for the information on this theme.

All parents and teachers know that it is much better to teach the child by example. And first of all such example must show the parents of the child. And it is not only how we treat each other as spouses, but also how we treat and talk about other people outside the family. It means, if the father says to his son: «Wash your hands before dinner», and after coming home from office doesn't wash his hands, the kid will always have a subconscious desire to copy his father in everything despite all the appeals. Here you can see a conflict in education - discrepancy of what you demand from the child and what he observes around him. And this discrepancy will give an impulse to misunderstanding and resistance in future.

Of course, each family has its own ideas and methods of raising their children. But it is also interesting to learn, what education practices exist. Not so far ago I have found ten tips for raising children of character and want to share them with you. The tips are very interesting and simple, but we always forget them in our everyday life. So I suggest you to pay attention to a short summary of them.
Don't wait that your child will be like you. Or like you want. Education should help the child to become himself. Don't treat the problems of your child with disdain: be assured, at his age the life seems to him not easier, than yours. And sometimes it seems even harder. Because the kid still doesn't get used as you do. Don't treat the child with indignity or dishonor. Don't demand from the child a payment for everything that you are doing for him: you gave him the life, how can he thank you? Later he will give life to another: this is the irreversible law of gratitude. Don't work off your bad temper on the child. Remember: as you sow, so shall you reap. Don't torture yourself if you can not do something for your child, but you should torture yourself, if you can do something and don't do because of your laziness, stirring life etc. Remember: it is made not enough for the child if it's not made everything possible. It is the major law of education! Love your child no matter what: he can be ungifted, unlucky, inpatient. While communicating with your child, enjoy the time you spend together, because it is a holiday, that won't last for a long time. Love someone else's child. Treat him like your own child. You should discipline wisely. Principles of discipline should be clear and firm but not harsh.

In conclusion I would say, that not only we bring up our children, but also they bring us up instantly. If you want to make your child better, you should become better yourself. It is the basic postulate of education!


10 Tips for Raising Children of Character - How to Bring Up a Child?

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Friday, December 2, 2011

How Can You Implant Good Behavior to Your Child?

!±8± How Can You Implant Good Behavior to Your Child?

In this article I want to touch on an interesting and serious topic. I will try to be brief though I can talk on this theme for hours.

For certain, you have already noticed, how often parents give their children different nicknames - from tender and gentle to pejorative and contemptuous. Remember yourself in the childhood: I am sure, someone also fastened you some nicknames. Perhaps, it was pleasant to you, perhaps, you have even protested. Especially, when your mum or dad scolded you for any offense: "You got dirty again?! What a regular little pig you are!" or "Oh my God! My favourite vase is broken! You blunderer!" etc.

Meanwhile such-like character references from adults strongly settle in a child's head.

For example, mother hurries her sluggish son or daughter; she wonders, why he comes to standstill in time of elementary actions. And sometimes she loses her ability to wait patiently, she starts to do everything instead of him, in between tutting: "What a sleepyhead you are!", "What are you dreaming about?!", "You won't cope, let me do it", etc.

Or another example - your child from time to time eats badly. He is light eater. However he feels himself very good. And what about mum? In conversation with her friend she groans in the presence of child: "He eats absolutely nothing!", "He looks so unhealthy".

And the child stays and listens. "I eat badly, I am not healthy"... And, indeed, he starts getting ill often, he loses his appetite.

The kid only starts to communicate with his contemporaries, he is still afraid of unfamiliar people and keeps closer to his parents. But mother can say to her friend: "He doesn't like to communicate with other children", "He don't want to come out of his shell, "He is so shy...".

And the child remembers: "I am shy, it will be better if I won't communicate with others, otherwise I can stuck in an awkward situation." And his shyness grows.

Types of nicknames and notices:

Negative ("Lazybones!", "You totally got out of hand!", "Ungrateful!", "How cruel you are, you have no sympathy for your mum (dad, granny) Positive ("You are my clever boy!","How tenderly you stroke a cat", "You are so kind: you have helped your granny to find her glasses","That's my girl - you always rejoice the cockles of my heart! ","My sweetie pie!"," "My small frame" etc.).

Each our word about the child always has emotional coloring and brings some sense to him. Small babies perceive the information through emotional tone. Maybe they do not know the meaning of a word, but perfectly catch the mood of their parents. One-year children already understand semantic meaning of all nicknames, that they receive. And what is important to know: all that nicknames and notices program the kids on a certain behavior.

In other words, nicknames and character references, that parents confer to their son or daughter, often become a basis of child behavior!

If the parents consider that their kid is uncontrolled, he will behave according to their expectations. If they, on the contrary, underline good qualities in the child, he will involuntarily strengthen these qualities.

That's why you should remember that it is necessary to pay attention to the child, when he doesn't fool around, when he obeys to you, willingly cooperates with you, ready to help, want to make your day with his successes etc. Meanwhile negative behavior we should ignore. In such a way we will develop positive behavior in our child. That is the secret!

Therefore try to control your thoughts and words. Carefully check every word, search only positive qualities in character of your child and you will be surprised, how easy and simple you will start to communicate with him.


How Can You Implant Good Behavior to Your Child?

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